Maddy, why?

Many of you who know me know that writing is not something that I've always loved. And honestly, when classes assign me papers I still wait until approximately 9 pm to start it when it's due at 11:59, and often turn them in at 11:58 (it's fine). However, here is the story of how I learned to love writing for myself, and why I've decided to share it with you.

Sophomore year of college I had to take English 232. The thing about this course was that the instructor or professor could choose what their class focused on. This was intriguing, because of how mysterious and uncertain it was going into class on the first day, but it was also terrifying. What if my instructor chose, like, science fiction or something??? I can barely write this blog post, let alone the equivalent to Star Wars. No thanks.

Thanks to the moon, stars, and all things holy, my instructor chose "creative writing". Ok...so like, what exactly does that mean?

We focused on narratives, or telling a story based on a writing prompt. We each made a zine, a little mini magazine. We had a project where we had to write or tell a story a different way, I chose a video. We did a lot in that class, and it was probably my favorite in college so far. But the main thing I took away was to journal.

We had to buy a journal and write 4 pages per week (I think). Each class period, that was at 8 am by the way, we started by writing for 10 minutes in response to a prompt the instructor chose. We weren't supposed to stop writing, even if we were done responding to the topic, we had to keep writing. The alphabet, a list, random words, other thoughts, a to-do list for the day. Just. Write. Outside of class, we had 2 pages to write per week about other stuff, whatever we chose.

Journaling actually became my personal therapy. It allowed me to get all of the thoughts in my head out. It allowed me to let allllll the bullshit of life go. Anything that was going on, whether it was relationships, friendships, school, work, family, any stress in my life, or anything that was just running constantly through my mind went away. Once it was written in that journal, it was out of my head.

The benefits of this were endless. First of all, my mind was clear. I was able to live life happily without holding certain topics in. I was able to walk around campus without the fear or stress building in my mind and body. I was able to write everything away, almost like the problem was gone once it was written.

Secondly, my overall attitude was 20 times better. Imagine all of those stresses in your life just disappear and all of a sudden you're able to breathe and smile and see beauty in the small things.

If I can give you any quick advice, journal. Write things down. Write about your day, how you're feeling, what you're doing. Do it to remember.

Ever since I took that class, I've journaled. Actually, very few people in my life know that I do. I usually write in the morning, reflecting on my mood and looking forward to the day. I make to-do lists, and jot down my hopes for the day, how I want to grow that day, and what I'm grateful for. At night I like to reflect on my progress, any growth I worked on, what I did, who I was with, and get out anything that gave me any negativity. Whether it was a frustrating person at work, a struggle with the babies I babysit, an event or interaction that took place, I write it down, get it out, and move on with my life.

So, getting to the point of why I'm sharing this with you all. I think, A LOT. My roommates probably want me to shut the hell up half the time because I talk a lot when I've been thinking a lot and I force them to listen to my thought process. I have a lot going on in this head of mine, and I'd like to get it out. But instead of keeping it to myself and the people closest with me, I find this a great way to share my craziness with you all, and see if any of it inspires someone to change, try something new, pick up a new habit, or better.

I actually don't know what this has in store for me, or how long it may last. I'm doing this to share my thoughts in a new and more exciting way, and I hope y'all enjoy!

Love and light.

Xx, Maddy